Have you ever thought to your self, “I ponder what’s on the backside of that massive fucking pit?” In all probability not, contemplating we’re situated twenty-seven miles down a mud highway. Welcome to Serenity Oasis Quarry and Mineral Mine.

Straddling the border of Kansas and Missouri, this pure surprise was birthed into existence when prospectors en path to California misplaced steam and determined to blast an enormous gap within the floor they have been already on to see if there was any mineral of actually any worth. There wasn’t.

We’re so comfortable to have you ever right here.

To enter the quarry, take the steps. All 576 of them. They’re picket, so if it rained just lately, they’ll be slippery. If it hasn’t rained, they’ll nonetheless be slippery. Discretion is suggested. Cleats really helpful. Laborious hats required. Admittance: $10.

There may be additionally an elevator, nevertheless it’s a dumbwaiter pulley system from 1952, run by Quarry Dan. He’s the strongest man this aspect of the Mississippi in terms of working a dumbwaiter pulley system from 1952, however he takes a whole lot of smoke breaks, so service is sporadic.

Watch out for bats. Particularly at 9 a.m. What’s the alternative of nocturnal? That’s what the quarry bats are.

Nestled within the coronary heart of the quarry pit is a pure, man-made lake. We refill it every day with a backyard hose. No diving. Some swimming. Quarry Dan flicks his cigarette butts into the lake.

A number of deer fell into the quarry again in 2006, and have flourished in isolation. We’re a registered deer sanctuary relying on if the deer are on the Missouri or Kansas aspect of the quarry. We’re licensed in Missouri; Kansas certification pending indefinitely.

A center college nurse will examine you for ticks in your manner out of the quarry. In case you slip and fall down all 576 steps, she’ll offer you an ice pack and name your mother.

On the southern wall of the quarry lies an interactive mining exhibit. Seize your pickax (they arrive in XL, scorching pink, and child-size) and get whacking. We’re actually hoping somebody finds one thing that’s not granite. Keep in mind, it’s not youngster labor in the event you’re paying us to make use of our pickaxes.

Your pockets and luggage will probably be searched upon departure to make sure you’re taking rocks with you. There’s a lot fucking granite down right here. Do you want new counter tops? Rocks make memorable keepsakes and souvenirs for the entire household. Nevertheless, within the unlikely occasion that you just discover gold, that belongs to us.

Do convey:

  • Sunscreen (the granite amplifies the UV rays, and likewise males named Ray)
  • Water (our water will not be protected to drink, until you need to flirt with Legionnaires’ illness)
  • Bank card (please notice: We don’t take Uncover)

Don’t convey:

  • Venison (it’s insensitive to the deer)
  • Gluten (Quarry Dan has a sensitivity)
  • Uncover bank cards (see above)

You need to register prematurely for a allow to camp within the quarry. There’s a strict 10 p.m. curfew. The deer are fully desensitized to people and can attempt to be a part of you in your tent. Don’t allow them to. They’ve Lyme and likewise halitosis.

We don’t imagine in lifeguards. Please guard your individual life.

Don’t stare at Quarry Dan’s webbed ft. He’s very self-conscious.

You should be vaccinated in opposition to polio to enter the mine. Down there, it’s nonetheless 1889.

We will’t wait to host you and your beautiful, moist, pickax-wielding households down within the quarry pit for one scorching, sweaty, sticky, rocky, unforgettable afternoon.