Proper now, you’re behind me, inside studying distance on the freeway, on the stoplight, within the parking zone, possibly within the drive-thru line, or maybe in my very personal driveway (anyplace however a gasoline station, actually), and I do know what you’re considering. However earlier than you kind one other thought, you’re going to wish to preserve studying this five-hundred-word bumper sticker on my Tesla so you possibly can totally perceive why I’m not a nasty individual.

First, you could know that I bought this automobile earlier than Elon went evil billionaire. I acknowledge that its being a 2023 Tesla Mannequin S does complicate that message, however you could additionally know that the one factor I hate greater than what he’s doing to the American folks is me being perceived because the unhealthy man.

Earlier than the previous couple of months, Musk was solely imply towards some folks, and I hope you possibly can perceive that I and most of the people in my social circles weren’t amongst them. So when that all of a sudden modified for me this 12 months, I used to be simply as outraged as any of you, as evidenced by this five-hundred-word bumper sticker prominently positioned on my Tesla.

You possibly can’t actually anticipate anybody to be a fortune teller in these conditions, proper? Once you’re out there for a automobile that may get you from level A to level B with unbelievable velocity and low working prices, and the man who has primarily made himself the model of that automobile is thought for mistreating folks, spreading false data, and having bizarre concepts about free speech and populating the human race, how might you probably predict that sometime he’ll say and do those self same issues quite a bit louder and extra typically? If I had that superpower of foresight, what I wouldn’t have is that this bumper sticker on a Tesla that I nonetheless personal.

Belief me, I really feel the sting of each single disapproving glare like a thousand needles. My soul trembles and withers. It’s an insufferable burden. No more insufferable than the cash I might lose if I removed this automobile to materially rebuke a person I consider is evil, however it’s nonetheless fairly insufferable. In case you suppose this printed clarification appears to be like prefer it’s overwhelming the rear of my automobile, simply realize it’s solely the tip of the iceberg of the immense weight I carry each time I get behind the wheel.

Does it assist to know that I at all times return my purchasing cart to the designated space? What about the truth that I’ve by no means been to a Chick-fil-A?Or that I commissioned this bumper sticker from the Etsy store of a lady who was fired from the EPA?

Opposite to what a primary look at my Tesla would possibly counsel, I care deeply in regards to the harmless folks struggling by the hands of this one explicit billionaire, which I consider additionally contains me. So sporting a bumper sticker clarifying that none of it’s my fault is the least I can do to assist.