“Danish International Minister Lars Løkke Rasmussen chastised U.S. officers following a visit by Vice President J.D. Vance to Greenland, saying the nation is open to criticism however isn’t pleased with the way it’s being delivered.” — USA As we speak, 3/30/25

“The Kremlin stated on Monday that Russia and the US had been engaged on concepts for a doable peace settlement in Ukraine and on constructing bilateral ties regardless of U.S. President Donald Trump saying that he was ‘pissed off’ with Vladimir Putin.” — Reuters, 3/31/25

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President Trump is working tirelessly to deliver an finish to the three-year-long battle between Russia and Ukraine. Whereas either side share blame for this battle—we’re nonetheless ready on that “thanks,” Volodymyr—no nation, regardless of how highly effective, has the fitting to grab the territory of one other sovereign nation.

Additionally, we’re invading Greenland.

After President Trump’s historic victory within the 2024 election, many individuals apprehensive {that a} second time period would spell bother for Ukraine. However that would not be farther from the reality. Imagine us after we say that the president is dedicated to serving to Ukraine and may be very pissed off at Vladimir Putin.

Admittedly, after we say “pissed off,” suppose much less “international adversaries” and extra “lover’s quarrel.” Form of like on Roseanne, when Roseanne and Dan would argue, however on the finish of the day, you knew they had been all the time on the identical staff. Simply consider Vladimir Putin as Roseanne, Donald Trump as her husband Dan, Volodymyr Zelenskyy as their daughter Becky, and the Donbas area of jap Ukraine because the door to Becky’s room. Certain, taking Becky’s door off its hinges and eradicating it would appear excessive, the identical means invading Ukraine would possibly appear excessive. However Donald Trump, like Dan, might be there to ensure Russia doesn’t take issues a step too far. His hard-line stance will be certain that Russia solely will get to maintain the entire territory they’ve already illegally seized and nothing extra.

In the meantime, the US might be invading Greenland.

You would possibly suppose it’s hypocritical that the US would criticize Russia’s invasion of Ukraine after which instantly threaten to invade a territory of Denmark. However the two conditions couldn’t be extra completely different. Russia invaded Ukraine to extract pure assets and exert larger affect over part of the world it views as strategic to Russian pursuits. However the US desires to take over Greenland to extract pure assets and exert larger affect over part of the world it views as strategic to American pursuits. And American pursuits are extra noble than Russian pursuits. Russia desires to complement Russia, whereas the US desires to complement the world—by serving to American companies mine minerals to make and promote merchandise the remainder of the world desperately wants, like Cybertrucks. See the distinction?

Our intentions in Greenland are altruistic in different methods, too. Whereas Russia invaded Ukraine purely to develop its borders, we need to annex Greenland to assist hold the folks of Greenland secure. Do you know Greenland used to have 10,000 troopers stationed throughout the island, and now they barely have 200? Certain, they had been all American troopers we selected to withdraw solely of our personal accord, however that doesn’t change the truth that Greenland is now woefully under-defended. Solely the US can defend Greenland from future invasions. Just like the invasion we’re about to launch within the close to future.

The reality is, Greenlanders need to be a part of the US, as a result of who wouldn’t? Quickly, the capital metropolis, Nuuk, might be an American paradise, the place the $TRUMP crypto coin would be the official foreign money, the folks will all put on Child Rock American flag ponchos, and helicopter polar bear looking would be the new pastime. And simply consider how a lot better off the folks of Greenland might be as soon as they’re People, and are subsequently now not saddled with “Nanny State” packages like paid household depart, common healthcare, vaccination campaigns, or entry to reproductive care.

Some will say invading Greenland is pointless. They’ll say that, since Denmark is a member of NATO, the U.S. is already obligated to defend Greenland within the occasion of an assault. However what higher approach to defend an ally than by annexing their territory and making it ours?

As for tapping into Greenland’s huge pure assets, might American firms simply ask to do enterprise in Greenland with out making it a part of the US? Sure. And is the principle motive Donald Trump desires Greenland that, at any time when he sees one thing he desires, he shouts “Mine!” and chases after it, penalties be damned, like a type of seagulls in Discovering Nemo? Sure. However that doesn’t change the truth that Greenland might be a lot better off as a part of the US.

Particularly when President Trump decides to hunt a 3rd time period.