The White Home proudly declares that the first-ever Nationwide Girls’s Day will probably be held on March 8. Previously—and badly—often called “Worldwide Girls’s Day,” President Trump has patriotically renamed this vacation to honor one of the best ladies on the planet: the ladies of america of America.

To mark this inaugural vacation, the president is proud to announce his five-part Agenda for American Girls:

1. PASSING THE ERA
For too lengthy, American ladies have lived as second-class residents, their rights assumed however not assured. That modifications at this time with the introduction of the Equal Rifle Modification. This constitutional modification, proposed by Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene at an NRA-sponsored chin-up competitors, will assure that ladies can’t be discriminated in opposition to based mostly on intercourse when shopping for and promoting rifles. President Trump firmly believes that regardless of how unhealthy they’re at intercourse, ladies ought to be entitled to hold weapons, as a result of it makes them hotter.

2. PAID LEAVE
America is certainly one of solely 5 industrialized nations that don’t assure paid depart. This locations a disproportionate burden on ladies, who, as Vice President Vance has so graciously reminded us, exist solely to breed youngsters. That’s why President Trump is giving ladies paid depart from voting. Beginning at this time, the White Home can pay ladies $5,000 in Trump meme coin to not vote. By eradicating the burden of democracy for American ladies, they are going to be free to give attention to what they love: cooking, cleansing, and protecting issues tight.

3. EXPANDING ACCESS TO HEALTH CARE
Based on the Nationwide Institutes of Well being, ladies report considerably larger delays accessing the well being care they want. President Trump has a plan to alter that. By firing girl medical doctors (not as sensible as males) and shutting satanic abortion clinics, America will save thousands and thousands of {dollars} that may be reinvested in increasing entry to breast augmentation surgical procedure for girls nationwide. As a result of, regardless of the place they’re born or how a lot cash they make, actual ladies ought to be capable of get the gender-affirming cups they deserve (Cs and above).

4. KEEPING WOMEN SAFE
Almost one in 4 American ladies expertise some type of sexual violence of their lifetimes. That’s why the Trump administration is reassigning terminated air visitors controllers to watch ladies’s loos for trans individuals. Choose ladies (i.e., wealthy and white) will probably be eligible to use for Digital IDs to skip the safety line. To use, merely electronic mail an image of your cooter to DonJr@altavista.com.

Holding ladies protected from hurt additionally means lowering pretend sexual assault allegations, so authorities can give attention to the actual victims. That’s why, in partnership with Meta, President Trump is rolling out the She’s Not My Sort© app, the place males can mark which ladies aren’t their kind to defend themselves from false accusations and produce justice to the true criminals: immigrants.

5. PROMOTING FEMALE ENTREPRENEURS
Regardless of Crooked Joe’s Marxist DEI insurance policies, solely 10 p.c of American CEOs are ladies. That makes company retreats lame for straight, male CEOs. So at this time, President Trump is launching the Girl American Enterprise Incubator Affiliation (LABIA), a mentorship program for budding feminine entrepreneurs. Chaired by Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, and Mike Lindell, LABIA will provide technical help, startup funds, and intimate one-on-one teaching classes for engaging feminine enterprise leaders who’re DTF at conferences. Congratulations to LABIA’s first grantee, MAGA Thongs, gold-plated G-strings with diamond-encrusted MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN written on the within crotch. Use code TRUMPLUVSWOMEN for five p.c off. Keep in mind, life’s not a dash; it’s a MAGA Thong.

Please be part of us for the launch of President Trump’s Agenda for American Girls with a Nationwide Girls’s Day celebration on the Kennedy Middle, that includes girl-on-girl mud wrestling refereed by Hulk Hogan, an apron-sewing tutorial taught by @tradwivesfortrump, and a pole dancing competitors judged by the Tate brothers.

MAY GOD BLESS AMERICAN WOMEN.